Story so far

I spent 19 yrs of my life doing nothing worth mentioning . Then, in the fall of 07, I smoked my first joint. 100 joints later in the summer of 2008, I bought my first bong. Sometime after my 500th bowl, I stopped feeling clueless after smoking weed. For people who haven't smoked weed, here's a short tutorial. The first few times you smoke weed, everything is funny. And i mean EVERYTHING! It's not too uncommon for people who are stoned to just look at each other and laugh for a long, long time. However, I must say this reaction varies from person to person. There are some people who may react adversely to weed and act insane....poor guys. Then the euphoria slowly fades away, and is replaced by somnolence, for people who smoke heavily atleast. If you don't smoke marijuana heavily and smoke it just right, it makes your mind run faster than than a racehorse on speed. So after my 500th bowl, almost any amount of weed i smoked was just right given my body's constitution. So smoking weed just right, I eventually ended up thinking about my place in the world and the meaning of life and all the other crap that you aren't supposed to be thinking about. When you start thinking about this sorta thing i.e the reason why the world is the way it is now, with all the wars and the discrimination and generally, all the injustices that people commit against other people, its a sinking feeling. Sometime around the winter of 2008, I started to sink. I was easily irritable, and snapping at anyone who slighted my ego in the least. The only thing i remember doing right at this time was continuing to smoke "just right" and continuing to think. The despair was harder to deal with given my financial problems at this point i.e spring (march) 2009. I kept smoking and kept thinking for much of the summer. At some point, I realized I was drowning with all these emotions and I needed some guidance. I must admit I was agnostic and almost atheistic during this period. And then I started reading the Bhagawad Geeta........